Walk away: Importance of self respect

There comes from time to time certain toxic people who let you down far low in your own conscience and breaks you down from within. If you have had spent many nights sleepless feeling utter guilt, hatred, disgust over an activity of a single person who most probably doesn't even remember it, then you know what I am talking about. Self respect is a very crucial tool for surviving in this busy world but sometimes it falls apart when you are attached too much with a person who mostly is somebody skillful at the art of exploiting you. Sometimes, the person can be genuine too, maybe its just that you two don't get along well. Whatever may be the reason, its time you should just seriously think about your friendship rather than obsessing over few incidents which seem to you far more disturbing that it really is. Because overthinking it can hamper your confidence in living your life.

I believe that confidence and happiness are intrinsically connected. The happier you are, the more confident you feel and the more confident you are, the happier you become. So, anybody or anything which puts down your self confidence should be scrutinized heavily. There is no harm in expecting someone you are close with to respect you especially when you don't miss out on giving it. Silently going through embarrassing insults or mean statements or deliberate negligence  continuously for long serves you no good. And the worst part that most of the times, after going through all of it for so long can fade out the confidence inside you to pick yourself up and walk away!

"Toxic" people can be anyone from your online friend to your long term project partner who is utter slacker with no sense of shame to someone you consider "close friend". You realize that now you don't need anymore "sorries" and that hurting you has become a frequent occurrence of him whether knowingly or unknowingly. If you are trying to change him, you should realize that maybe you are fighting with his very quality. Just because he/she can go along well with somebody else, doesn't mean that can happen with you as well. Everybody is unique, they have their own frequencies which may or may not be compatible and its OKAY if it is not. You don't have to be such a saintly person from whom everybody gets impressed and for the record even saints are hated at!

It should be noted that I am not talking about small misunderstandings which are a regular affair in most relationships. There is nothing wrong with them and most of the times, they even act as a way to understand each other better. But they get sort out quickly and are never repeated. Instead, I am talking about someone you probably have already guessed due to whom you have suffered for long enough that it is time where you don't need anymore drama. Its the highest point of annoyance when you no longer feel anger or hatred towards the person, you just want him/her to disappear as if he was never there. You don't want to harm him physically or emotionally, you just want separation.

When it happens, the ideal response is something very very few are capable of, and that is to start cutting off that person gradually and gracefully and filling the space with some other friend while simultaneously behaving perfectly normal and thus avoiding unnecessary drama of "sorry" or rants. No more eyes are wet, no more nights are sleepless, no inbox is filled, the transition is smooth, the friendship falls apart. All by itself. If you have suffered for too long and with too much intensity, may be you cannot do this. Then, the second option and I urge you to do it is- Walk away.

It's true that whenever we talk about any "person" as such, it is not the entire being himself, but the ideas or concepts we make about them in our head, the recollection of memories of us together and we MAY make a mistake in perceiving others and it is still OKAY if that's the case. We cannot and should not be a perfect human being, we have to be just somebody who cares about oneself and seeks little more happiness than what is currently, after all that's what life is about, isn't it? So why bother bearing the burden, why bother trying to know whether you are right or wrong? Simply suck it and Walk away!

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Hey Women, we are sorry.

Hey, Happy Women's day. We all hope you are at least feeling safe today or probably not. We are very sorry if you do not and we would also like to say sorry for many more things.

We are sorry that we raped you and then blamed you for it-

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We are sorry that when you were travelling we made sure through our stare that every second of yours was disgusting as hell.

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We are sorry we killed you as soon as you were born or many times even before it.

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We are sorry we denied basic education to you because we thought you were best(read:only) suited for household chores.

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We are sorry for the countless number of times we beat you inside home and for the countless number of times again when we heard you cry but didn't call the police leaving you alone.


We are sorry to push you to prostitution and then deny any basic human right to you.



We are sorry to force ourselves upon you, we couldn't even wait for you to get older.



We are sorry we couldn't stand you not accepting our "true" love  and hence threw acids on your face.


We are sorry that we emotionally ruptured you even in the workplace(when we allowed you to go there after all)


We are sorry, we are sorry and we are sorry again. But, hey we do realize it has already gone too far and cannot be fixed by petty sorries. And the worst thing is almost none of them can be called as "practices from the past" because it is happening. It is happening right now in this very moment where you are reading this at some place. Just merely realizing it gives you creeps. 

But there is one promise, we are improving. Please allow us to learn humanity. It may take time, but we for sure will learn it one day. Today is Women's day. Yours day. We hope you to have at least one man in your life who wish you today with heart and full respect. We celebrate this day because we have realized you are special. You are very special to us and to our Mother nature which is why she bestowed upon you some really special gifts which only you have, like-

1) You are beautiful. Like really.

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2) You are kind and nurturing.


3) You deal with opportunities better which is why you are natural leaders.


4) You are far more emotionally aware than us.


5) You are damn intuitive compared to we ego-driven intellectuals.


And we need you because,

And for the matter we are not sorry because we feel guilty for what we have done, we are sorry because we need you. We need you very badly. Yes, we are still greedy enough to want you to forgive us because we need you. You complete us and we complete you. Let's build this world together for a brighter future. Today is the day where we try to forget/correct our mistakes and help shape a better lifestyle.

Yours gratefully,


"Desirable qualities" are an emotional sham

Be it when you didn't like your friend shouting in a public place, or when you got angry over people not caring about you, we all have expectations of some "desirable qualities" in others and most importantly our dear friends. Although seeming to be a usual expectation, this habit can sabotage our relationships which cannot bear the burden of these expecations.

"He/she should be more decent", "he/she should not be so quiet","he/she should spend more time with me", "he/she should not react that loud", etc etc the list is long. From where do these expectations arises, what is stopping us to fully accept the person we like to spend time with? After all what is wrong with reacting loud?

I am going to talk the both way, Why we ourselves expect desirable qualities in others and why we give in when we are expected to have some of them The very fact that you are dependent on somebody who has loads of expectations from you indicates that you cannot accept yourself. There cannot be any other reason to it.

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The biggest secret I have learnt in the life is that the key to peace is acceptance. If you are in bad situation, just accept it as it is, after all it's YOUR bad situation, It has come to teach you something, it has come with a message, "STOP", Stop what you are doing hence bad times are your prized possession! The last thing you need to do is not accept them as yours.

"The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace becomes transmuted into peace."
                                                                                                  -Eckhart Tolle

Just do this experiment and see it for yourself, be it any state you are in, just accept it. Be it the saddest moment of your life, just go through it as if you intended it to happen and you will find a new joy arising in your heart, a new happiness and that happiness will be spiritual. It does not come from external situations, it comes simply when you accept your life as it is. The art of acceptance is a miracle.

The biggest hindrance to self-acceptance is the fear you won't succeed in life with as you are. Teenagers are thinking today that they have to change themselves in order to live life properly. There is a certain behavior you got to do when you are in front of parents, something else in school, something else in the job. They have planned it all already, which is the most unfortunate thing I could ever think of. I mean this is the time when we are supposed to work towards our nature, to blossom the gifts given to us by nature and all what we are thinking about is whether people would accept us. You are giving complete control to others to the level you are now leading their lives! Multiple places, multiple lives! Would not your heart be torn into pieces? What is the need to please those people? Who they are whose only work in their life is to judge you? Who they are who are always spying on you? The people in the restaurant whom you never going to meet again? The people in the mall who won't cross you ways ever again? You are afraid of them?

I have never understood people who spend too much time grooming themselves, comb hair again and again, changing clothes again and again, All this for what? Outwardly, we just see that it is the need to look good, but there is a much bigger problem residing inside. And it is non acceptance of self. If only a little energy of their make up is spent in actually living life, they will see life is much beautiful without caring about looking beautiful.

Another biggest problem is you expecting others to be as you want. This expectation again arises from the same place- fear and insecurities which now are just projecting outwards. It occurs out of conditioning. Conditioning of "how to behave" guides throughout our lives. We have confined ourselves in the conditioning so how could others reject them and be free? What a disgrace why such unfairness? Naturally a person who has killed himself won't allow others to live, he is unable to. There is nothing wrong in being what one is and only if you are living yourself you can accept others life. Their behavior is their own nature, their own life and to accept them, your own life has to blossom. Life cannot reject other life, only conditioning can.

"That’s why people are such great fault-finders. They find fault with themselves – how can they avoid finding the same faults in others? In fact, they will find them and they will magnify them, they will make them as big as possible."

So the next time you didn't like somebody's behavior, ponder over it and try to know whether it is coming from inside, does it have any solid base? 

My Interview Experience

Okay, so I got placed. The very first company I applied, job profile which interests me the most and the highest CTC from my branch. All this with ZERO preparation(for the specific interview). Allow me to share my experience with you for you to know a feel of how the overall process is.

First of all I told ZERO preparation. This ofcourse does not mean I knew nothing. I had started working and thinking about placements long back and while going through the process you realize that no "last minute preparation" helps. This is not exam. While giving the answers you will feel that the chances of you getting selected or not is already decided way back. All what you did in your college life, the skills you built effectively unfolds in the interview. So, if you are thinking along the lines of "Once I get shortlisted, I will prepare hard and crack the interview." or "Let the company come, I will prepare accordingly", you are on the wrong track. The right time for preaparation is NOW.

Okay, Searce is the company I am placed in and the designation is Cloud Engineer, location Pune. The exact profile will be decided over a telephonic interview shortly before joining. The process first involved the Aptitude test, just the basic questions but you had to do them real fast. 20 questions, 30 minutes with some questions intended to waste your time but actually a pair of questions had two sub questions each(as separate). I wasted some time to actually go back to the question and verify that the problem statement is actually same, it was just a "one paragraph two question" type of problem. Difficulty level was easy. I had solved NO aptitude book like RS Aggarwal, nor any aptitude app or taken any competitive coaching. At morning, I was looking at the Simple Interest formula :p. Just if you like solving problems and solve them here and there at times, you can clear the test. The second round was a Group Discussion but the top performers were directly called for the PI rounds. I was one of them :)

There were 3 PI's in total. The company allowed students to apply for 4 profiles- Cloud Consultant, Cloud Engineer, Software Engineer and Business Process Analyst. I had applied for Software Engineering and there were very less people from non CS/IT background who had applied for technical posts. Searce was the second software company on my campus(first was Morgan Stanley) who allowed non CS/IT branches to apply (I am from Instrumentation) for the computer technical posts. For the business post, of course everybody could apply.

First PI-
The guy called 4 students and gave a programming problem to solve. I got an easy problem on string- to print the words of the string in reverse order while keeping order of the capital letters and punctuation same. Example:
 Input String: Hello world, I like pRogramming
 Output String: Olleh dlrow, I ekil gNimmargorp
I took my time and wrote a working code but I knew it was not perfect as I was not much comfortable with the syntax. The guy told us to not worry about the syntax and solve it in any language. After solving, he called us one by one and took the interview.

To me, he first asked me to explain my program. I explained the logic: to store the string word by word by parsing through spaces and storing the capital letter position in an array and then display the words in reverse while taking care of the array blah blah. The problem was I did not know the exact syntax for converting to capitals(while writing this post, I now remember that I could use direct function to convert into upper case!), so I adjusted the ASCII value of it through another integer variable. Well I was able to convince him that I knew the logic and since I am not from CS/IT background and less experience in coding, I don't know the exact line for it. He said, fine.

Then, he asked me to tell me something about myself which is not mentioned in the resume. This I felt I nailed it on my part. I answered: "Sir, I am a person who always like to do things which are creative and the things which people normally don't do. For example, in my first year I gave a second attempt at JEE Advanced because I was not satisfied with the first attempt and I scored a near 8000 AIR in my second attempt along with maintaining Nirma Academics and rules(we have 85% attendance scheme). Then, in second year I started writing a blog and I am fairly active towards it. Later down the line, I made a video testing GK tests of my fellow classmates. Now, I am doing an Idea Lab Project on IOT which is an initiative by Nirma and it is a research grant based project. I am also interested in spirituality and have been to various meditation retreats. I like programming and my intention is to create products which makes people lives easier."

Overall, it seemed like he was NOT much impressed with all this. He asked me to describe my research grant based project. I explained him the project and then he asked which framework on python am I using, I told him webpy. I explained the future intention as in what future plan of the project was. Like from the live feed the user can select a person or an object and the bot will automatically follow it through Image Processing and otherwise the bot can be controlled manually through 4 buttons on a HTML page linked with the python code on the server hosted by Raspberry Pi. I further told more of the details here.

He again looked into my program and thought a bit and started asking technical questions. The basic "What is XYZ" questions about linked list, recursion, AJAX and stuff. To others the questions were about PHP, front end back end and stuff. When I did not tell all the answers, he did press on me and asked Why I could not answer the conceptual stuff when I am interested in programming. This I handled with like I am from Instrumentation background and all. He said fine and asked me to do another programming question which was again easy- to swap the values in two variables without using third variable by two methods. I solved it. He then asked me whether the program will work on negative numbers and the situations where it will fail. He asked me questions on classes and objects and asked me to give a real example on object and class. He was by then reading my resume so it immediately clicked to me. I said Sir resume can be the example itself, for example my resume can be a class and different objects be the properties and blah blah. I now realize that a better example can be- resume in general is class and My resume is an object which will be the instance of the resume class.

I was shortlisted for the second round. The lady was asking puzzles. She asked the 100 storey puzzle(you have two balls, you have to find out at which exact floor the ball will break in minimum number of trials). Although I did not have a clue about the puzzle, I smiled. Seeing that she asked "Have you already solved the puzzle earlier?", I said No and then she asked why I was smiling then. I said smile is the ultimate stress relief :p. I struggled with the puzzle for good 10-15 minutes and gave at least 5 different solutions to it and every time she was like "Optimize it further Shivam, you have to make people lives easier right? 20 trials is bad for the worst scenario in this case." I felt like I gave a good solution but after some time she gave up and started asking "What do you do?". I gave a stupid "I am doing Instrumentation" reply. (Don't ever give this reply). She made an ugly look and then I again said my dream is to build products which makes people lives easier mostly in the software/programming side. Then she asked whether I would be comfortable in locations like Rajkot. "Will you not cry like Rajkot is a small city, After some time you will say I want to meet parents and all?" I replied: "Mam, I was a day scholar and of course I spent 14 years of school at home only, now at this point my parents want to kick me out of the home" She laughed at it. I think she asked one or two questions further which I don't remember. She took my resume and put it on the back table. I felt like I have answered questions confidently.

Few people were shortlisted and I was one of them for the third round. The third round was taken by the Technology Head. It felt like he did a thorough reading of my resume and as soon as I sat, he asked me "So, webpy huh?" with a good smile. I said, "Yes sir, short and easy.". He replied, "Yes, short and easy." He then digged into my project on IOT (It was the highlight in the entire process). I explained my project again and told what's new in it. When I explained that the Raspberry Pi will run the motors of the bot according to the command received from the HTML, he asked how will the command come. At first I did not understand his question and then I got it. I explained him that the Apache server software is being hosted on the Pi, http requests, python and blah blah. He then asked me what was the exact command in webpy for receiving, I told him. He asked me whether I did all this on my own, I said yes, I took the initiative and currently we are exploring on the Image Processing part. He asked me about the camera and fps details, I told him that we have not reached there but told him some details which I knew. Till now it looked like he was really impressed especially for that I did this much on my own. Then I impressed him further by saying the sad story of Aaron Swartz who was built webpy(and many things) but later committed suicide because of his own work. (You can read his story on the Internet).

Immediately I returned to IOT. I told him that my dream is to create an online repair platform such that people can actually repair and prepare physical/tangible things and perform processes like cutting, welding and everything through the Internet. He said that you probably cannot work on your core IOT dream, will you do our cloud work, will you come? I said "yes because it is not necessary for me to make a fixed career in IOT. My goal is anyway to build products which makes people lives easier". He then asked whether I was clear with all the loops and algorithms, I said I am clear with looping and I good at designing logic but I stated it clearly that I cannot code from scratch. He said fine, the training will be given but you have to research on your own and provide solutions for the work we receive. I said fine. He asked whether I knew any database languages, I said yes we are working on MYSQL in a project this semester. He asked a question on Image Processing. Then he said that you probably have to move locations for reasons related to work, I replied that it is in fact wonderful for me. He then asked me whether I was fine with the location being Pune, I said yes Sir its fine. Then he asked me whether I have to ask any question-

My first question was related to the presentation they gave. In the presentation, one mam asked how will you feel when your boss is standing at your door on Sunday asking you to come and work? I asked the guy straight away how often will the Sunday thing happen. He said not to worry about that as it is very less frequent. He said that we work like a family and just like how in a family we know each other's strengths, we choose the person for particular work. He further said not to worry about work load at all, the lady in the presentation said so just to tell you that it's not a government job. I, then further asked what are the flexibility options as far as work is concerned, what are the growth and stuff. The company well had already declared that the growth is unlimited, you can be ANYTHING in years to come. He replied that growth will depend on two factors, one your performance and second organizational growth. If you work really hard than within a year you can become Cloud Architect blah blah.

So overall it was an easy process. I feel like Communication Skills, Projects do help a lot in the process. Best of Luck!

I saw this video long back and I think it's good enough. Sandeep Maheswari really nails the point here on what attitude you should have for job interview-


I have also attached my resume, just in case if you need.

Supporting Feminism

I see a very high number of individuals having quarrel over the cause of feminism which although apart from minor buoyant humor based leg pulling is quiet unfortunate, especially in India. In the US, now they are having these campaigns against "body shaming" that we should not even call fat people "fat". Although  whether this actually promotes or justify an unhealthy lifestyle is a matter of out of context debate, I would want to compare the situation where Indians stands at. Are our human sensitivity at that conscious level?

I would like to admit that up until this time I was a part of the "anti-feminist troll" team which are largely active on the social media. You must also have come across one of them. For example, how many times you have seen one of those memes on your Facebook feed  complaining about how few women sit into the "men" seats but when men do the same "by mistake", they are abused and hurled. I would not say that I cannot imagine a scenario like that but the outrage towards it is pretty biased at least and ignorant at worst. Just ask yourself, is this treatment even slightly comparable to what women in this country has been facing through? Are these suitable reasons for hunting down feminists on our friends list and desperately trying to shame them down. I don't know whether you are one of the troll gang, before you share or like any such post, probably you should have a reality check.

Acid attacks are probably the term which many of you might have forgotten or never heard of since recent days unless you are very closely following local news. They go so less reported that a majority of the people aren't even aware of them and they are seemed to be so old century crime, one which seems to be not happening in the decade. Of course, it isn't true. Just yesterday night there was a news about two acid attacks which were "reported"(Mind you). One of the victims of this horrific crime which easily leads the family to bankruptcy for the treatment was a 12th standard girl. A prick proposed for marriage to her and threw the chemical on her face when she refused. The legal scenario and statistics of the acid attacks are over-viewed in this article.

Needless to mention, there are other horrific crimes including martial rapes, dowry abuse. With all the advancements, there are still large number of females "married off" to a complete stranger and expected to serve him on the bed. In a country, where females are allowed to have more time to choose a dress than for their life partner, how many more rapes would it take for us to finally realize and stand up rigid on the cause? How many more suicides are going to take place before we realize that we should stand against any dowry practice we come across in our lives?

But from where are we going to get our time and spirits for it if we are busy pulling down the ones who are open about their feminism inclinations? It is high time we begin to introspect ourselves. Note, if you see one more such meme or a post, kindly don't like it or share it. Either ignore or drop down a comment expressing strong disagreement. If you are the one who enjoys it, you are just one of the elements which have resulted into this messy mindset. You are the one who have resulted into so much confusion and shaming around feminism.

Despite even the disgusting, narrow minded bullies present, I just cannot imagine why would an educated person in the present will have any problem in declaring him/her as a feminist. Needless to say, feminism also includes equal rights for men to exempt them from common illogical social expectations like being the breadwinner of the family. Why are there still so much hesitation around the word? The answer to it probably comes from my experience from the time when I was too a bully of feminism. There was a comment from a guy from London on a Facebook post who in an irrelevant manner highlighted that there is a huge problem of gang rapes in India. Absent mindedly around half a dozen people including jump into the surprise debate which I later realized was meaningless. The Britisher turned out to be a very calm and decent person who later discussed the problems in England and how we are supposed to deal with problems. I "switched" to his side but the lines which shook me was from a girl who after seeing the thread could not help but sharing her disapproval and pointed out that in such a coveted debate about how India is "improving", there was not a single girl involved. She also mentioned there is literally no improvement in the rates of crime and we should be accepting facts as bravely.

Now, did anything she or the guy told was wrong? No. Then why were the people furious? It is just that our male ego came in between. We could just not see somebody else criticizing our country. This triggers a cognitive dissonance among us with our brains having a sweet impression of being so concerned about the cases but our nature is already that of a pervert. Also, Indians are generally believed to be sentimental and go defensive, so if you abruptly point out their issues- good luck with the talking. We don't care about the original issues themselves, but we get all fired up if somebody mentions it in a dry manner.

"Girl Power" is trending currently with PV Sindhu, Deepa Karmakar and Sakshi Malik winning the hearts with their performances, I hope it stays for a while. I sincerely hope that none of them who are sharing it will not be involved into eve teasing later down the line along with "friends". With increase in number of educated youths, you can very clearly see that society is moving towards more logical and modern mindset with many of the evil practices going rare. This is a clear cut logical outcome of diversity based education system.

One thing I think I should clear is my own postition about Feminism. From today, I pledge to come out openly as a feminist. I would not be involved in any eve teasing or any other such activity which might result in inconvenience to the opposite gender and support the cause. My feminism is not restricted to professional life but also personal life. I don't have any control over any human being and I am not supposed to have it. We are beings who crave love and we should not be susceptible to momentarily satisfying ego hood.

I don't want this noble cause to turn into some kind of brawl where something else in the name of "equality" is forced down somebody's throat. Those type of people are going to be there, for sure. But we cannot deal with them by nagging down the whole concept of feminism as a whole, but instead identifying the people having progressive thoughts and standing together with them.

“Women’s liberation is automatically men’s liberation. Women’s slavery is automatically men’s slavery. They go together.” - Osho.

Jalal ul-din Rumi

Jalalulldin Rumi is one of the most loved ones from the world of the mystics. Mystics don't get love because they are nice, handsome or stuff, they receive love because they themselves shower love first. This is the miracle of love, the purest form of it, Show it and "ye shall receive" it back because we all are made of the same love which resonates after getting triggered by those showering love unconditionally. It starts to flow freely all from your body to outside it and then to other beings, with the only condition is that for you to set it free without any hinderance. There are countless number of mystics who teach the path of love and it is for very courageous people. The path of love begins by first loving yourself, just completely. You fill your self with immense love by fully accepting yourself, just like the way you are, just like the way God has made you, with full peace and grace. And then slowly slowly, you are completely filled with love to an extent that you are unable to hold it and it overflows. You are deeply immersed in it and it just reaches whomsoever is in front of you and "captures" him too. Now you have become a part-of love. No, you have become love. There is no difference between love and you, you have been immersed in it fully and your identity has been dissolved. Love has become you and you have become love. It is said that mind stops working in love which is true. If you are feeling it fully, your mind's hold on you gets weaker and weaker, because the real master of your body-the heart has awakened to its potential. Now, mind can no longer work, its illusions can no longer work. And if mind stops working, who will you be? Nobody! Just flowing in the ocean of love. This is the ultimate emotional experience, man is capable to have.(Note, only emotional).

 In the world of Sufis, the ultimate spiritual awakening is achieved by simply "loving God", completely submitting to Him, being completely dissolved, losing your identity and then filling it completely with love. And remember they are loving God and in Islam, it is very strict that you cannot have God assuming any kind of shape or form. How could they even love God so completely, so madly? How is it possible for the material mind to love someone of whom it don't have any image, or characteristics? That's why many Hindus and others might never be able to grasp the profoundness of Sufism and that's also why many intellectuals too might miss it completely. Amidst, the so much confusion and misinterpretation of Sufi texts based on their literal meanings, still they are widely read among those who understand them, who understand the music, who understand the rhythm, who understands their wavelength of consciousness, their boundless joy and among them, there is a man who is incomparable- Rumi.

Sufism is the mystical branch of Islam. It objectively rejects many dogmas from the religion and is aimed at the overall humanity. Sufism is an art, a music. But, music is "haraam" is Islam. Yes, although there are here and there ambiguous verses in Quran for music of beating of drums or Allah and David conversation, but majority of the Islamic scholars prohibits almost all the types of modern music, Yes. But Sufism is on a complete contrast, it very much out of the dogmas and that's why fundamental Muslims are against Sufism. Well, let them stay there, we are not talking about them. Sufis have termed Rumi as Mevlana, i.e. their master. Rumi was born to a Persian speaking family. His father was a theologian and mystic himself but Rumi was going to be at a completely different legacy. He was a preacher for some time till he met the Shams-e-Tabrizi. The meeting spiritually transformed him and even motivated him to begin the inner journey. He was the founder of "Sama", a Sufi dance you probably have observed-

This is a religious practice, path to attain God -Sama. It is said that Rumi when heard the beating of the gold, he found of a rhythm of "there is no god but Allah" and then stretched out in happiness and began whirling. This dance brings man to a kind of drunkard state and to lose his senses. Interpretations can be different. It can be imagined that while whirling around Rumi found his inner self which is static and thus said, "there is no need now to go to mosque". Sama symbolizes the man's journey from ego to ego-free. From selfishness to the joy of love.

He was a great poet, of course with the masterpiece Masnavi to his credit, we will focus on his lovely quotes making us remember our own self, our inner being where God actually is-











Brahmacharya is a very interesting concept but also a dry one. At least in initial stages it feels dry, but later on I don't know what exactly happens. But still it is interesting, you really get transformed bit by bit by practicing Brahmacharya, self control, it obviously helps rising above you body. It has a clear logic and it works too.

Most people are misinformed about the meaning of Brahmacharya. It is commonly thought to be celibacy. It is not celibacy, in fact celibacy has nothing to do with Brahmacharya. But let's first see what this Sanskrit word mean-
"Brahma" means the Supreme reality, God, or your true self and "charya" means proceeding with. Typically it suggests a virtuous life in line with God. You think what an ideal life would be and you live like that. An attempt to lead a perfect life, a God-like life, rising above your body and mind and continuously being with your true self or soul whatever you call it. A life which will make you understand God, will help you seek God. You cannot seek God if you are stuck with fullfilling the needs of your mind and body. It does not mean you completely ignore them, just that they are not priority. Earning wealth is not a priority, sensual pleasures are not priority, with heart completely focused on God. "To dedicate yourself with Brahma". That is why you see most "Brahmacharis" becoming Sannyasins, becoming swamis. You cannot remain focused completely if you are leading a social life, at one point you have to give it in the world. Tension will come, worries will come. Also you would be forced to commit small crimes which your soul doesn't absolutely allow. Since now you are a brahmachari you cannot ignore you voice, you have to live. That's why people ought to move away from the society, because it is a huge buzz, you cannot remain focused. Once in a while you will be definitely dragged down, you cannot commit yourself fully. Though it does not mean normal people like us cannot practice Brahmacharya. We can and in fact we should.

Now, first to understand what it is, we see what it is not. It is not celibacy. It was meant to rise above your body. It was to unify with your own true self, rising above the physical desires. But people misunderstood it to be celibacy. Because they have long tried to supress sex. We all know that the desire of sex is prominent in mankind and since we have tried to suppress it forcefully, it has risen to our minds. Now it is a very dangerous thing, if a desire rises up in the mind. If you have a desire to earn money it is a different thing. But if all your energies are spent solely to earn money, if your entire mental passion is money, then it is a problem and this is the rule for everything, including sex. Suppressing sex brings nothing. Suppressing anything brings nothing, because it is in its nature to rise back again. The more you suppress, the greater is the force with which it comes back. Now the entire mind is involved into thinking how to avoid it and it is just as good as the mind who lies lowly in desires. It is one and the same thing- both minds carry the same concept, polarity does not matter. Mind is obsessed about the same thing, It cannot rise above body, it cannot be in meditation. Now, since due to long suppression of sex by religious people, it has entered in to the mind and now everything is seen from the perspective of sex. When brahmacharya was said to be avoiding physical pleasures, people understood it to be avoiding sex. It is because their thinking is so sex polarised, everything "physical" meant sex.

Brahmacharya meant renouncing physical pleasures including sex. But if keep struggling with suppressing your desires, it does not bring anything. You become a battleground, for the ones who have not gone beyond, fighting with their own nature is senseless, but this madness in the name of religion continues. Brahamcharya has a meaning only when you transcend the desires, if you are good at suppressing it means nothing. You should be such that feeling should never arise, that's true practice. Keep suppressing all through the life brings madness only. Celibacy can bring madness but a normal sex life can never bring madness.

In India, people also consider brahmacharya as remaining unmarried. This is also wrong. Brahmacharya typically means celibacy till marriage and fiedlity after marriage. It is not necessary that a person practicing brahamacharya will not marry. The mechanical characteristic of your life means nothing. Whether you are married, or unmarried it means nothing, What resides in your heart is the one which matters. You may be a celibate monk but if you are not able to transcend it, it brings nothing. J Krishnamurti once said, "You want to know what my secret is? I don' care whatever happens". If you rise above your world, the desires will automatically dissolve. It happens naturally, celibacy will immediately follow, you will realize there is no need, it's all illusion. It does not mean denying sex, it means transcending sex, transcending every physical desires including sex.

Brahmacharya was one of the yamas of the Yoga Sutras. Self restraint is very important for spiritual progress. I realize this as completely true. Materialistic mind worries about the connection between this peculiarity, but there is indeed a connection. Only if you stop spending your energy towards wavering desires in a continuous loop, you have to give up on some task. Then your mind will automatically work towards its own nature, its own liberation. Only when you rise above it, you can cross it. While remaining in a ditch and looking upwards the sky won't make you reach there. Sky won't even take out a finger to lift you up, you only have to rise and it takes immense courage. It takes immense courage to deny your natural pleasures. It is simply heroic. This is why saints are highly revered, because the respect given to them on the basis of their renunciation is deserving.

Yamas and Niyamas are the complementary guidelines in the Yoga Sutras by Patanjali. Now, everybody must have known about the Baba Ramdev brand but nobody knows the real historical man- Patanjali and it will be a sin to write anymore without mentioning him. Now, Patanjali has been one of the most important figures in the history of mankind and not just Hinduism. Patanjali was a man of huge intellect. It is said that just how Einstein is for science, Patanjali is for Yoga. He is the father of modern Yoga, almost everything we know about Yoga today is due to the work this man did to revive Yoga for the mankind. His writing in Yoga Sutras is simply blunt. You see the title, it is "...And Now Yoga". Just simply put. We have been doing this and that and then we realized all are nonsense and then we decide for Yoga, hence the title. The thought is directly written and everything in it is written by purely step wise method. It looks like a science textbook. He was the most scientific person in Hinduism. He brought the religion to the level of science. He used intellect for the spiritual path and has used it so cunningly that no word of appreciation is enough. If you follow him, you simply get the results. He says in his Sutras that practicing Brahmacharya brings immense courage. You realize you are the consciousness which is universally present. And this brings a fearless life. Lack of courage and fear only comes through fear from mind, if you rise above it there is no fear. Bringing inner peace is a different and higher thing, it comes later but getting courage through this is spontaneous and throbbing.

Initially, brahamcharya brings very strange feeling. In fact every spiritual practice brings strange feeling initially. Your all preconceived notions fall apart, all what you have thought about the world, when you really see it through attention, it seems all different. All the answers are now useless, all theories,all theology, all philosophy falls apart and it creates a void and it is confusing. It does not bring satisfaction to its fullest. Because now what you have gathered since centuries is of no use suddenly and the void in life is impactful, you know that you are moving in a correct path but you feel something missing. Because we had imagined life to be something else so it takes time to adjust.

Brahmacharya involves conscious tasks. Whether you do it or not, it does not matter. What matters is whether you let it to disturb or not. If you are involved in the act, then it means your are simply in the ditch. The whole concept of tantric sex is to be conscious about it. To make realize that you are even above the pleasure. You are not receiving pleasure, it is a body need and it almost vanishes when you become old. Just how we feel kids as running behind toys, old people see youngsters as kids running behind these desires. You realize its all a matter of few time only. Just rising above is true practice. If you see the history of Hindu mythology, you will find sex all over it. It may mean two things, one is that they were having a open and natural attitude towards it or they had minds which had long suppressed sex. Now if brahmacharya was an ideal life and if it meant celibacy then what about the Gods involved in the sexual activity? Almost all gods are married and have kids. And then there is a guy known as Hanuman. He is widely known as a brahmachari. Even in some of his temples, women are discouraged to be entered or touching him. First of all touching a stone in the illusion of touching a God who have committed his own life to some other person(Ram) is itself a nonsense and it is just uncontrollably amusing that they fear their God will get "dirty" if women enters there. That the chastity will be lost. I simply cannot stop laughing at this. He is a brahamachari since long time, he is supposed to be unaffected by ladies. And people don't allow women to go near him. This is the proof that man construct his god according to his own nature. Because man also fears women because he cannot control his desires and his constant religious conditioning that sex is bad, he is in a tussle. So he believes that Hanuman must also be in a tussle. Just like how a man may induce desires if a woman comes near him, he thinks Hanuman must also have same problem and that he will get angry. It turns out that according to many sources Hanuman was indeed married. According to the Writings of Sage Parasara , When hanuman approached Lord Surya to Learn Grammar Surya says that it can be taught only to Grahastha(Married Man) and not to a celibate like Hanuman. Lord Surya Creates a women called Suvarchala with his Rays hanuman marries her in order to pursue his learning.

 Forced celibacy to me does not make any sense. It does not make any sense to me that a God will make us like this and then without informing expects us to work our way out though it. If such is so, then he is a tyrant. It is funny how people just convert a character to suit their own understanding and purposes and builds their lifestyle around that concept. Hanuman's life can be huge ideal. How his devotion was, his bravery, focus and strength. He is also shown meditating, but nobody will meditate. They only want to pray.


And all other Hindu Gods are sexual too. All have kids. Now how is this explained? And how can one even explain Krishna? It is impossible for them. That's why now gods are worshiped in a limited way. Gods have been limited to have been doing only what suits the society. Surdas will write brilliant poems on the child Krishna but the adult Krishna is dangerous. He unites with numerous ladies.So Surdas does not go there, his Krishna is only a kid, he never grows up. Because nobody got the message. Krishna's message was to fully accept life as it is. To accept every aspect of it. Even when he knows this is all illusion he says in Geeta that he does his task religiously. He says that he knows the future but still actively involved in the present. People only understood that he knew the future hence he must be God, but they never understand the message why he is living in the present? Why is he performing his duties? Why is he even bound by duties? That's the recipe for his glory. Even while being a god he choses to so human like but in fact being a complete human. Almost one thousand interpretations of Geeta is written. Scholars have endlessly criticized, praised and what not, still we are not able to understand the man. That's how mysterious he is.

That's why Patanjali did not write Yoga Sutras in poetic form or in a literary form. Because then scholars must have jumped in, they would have twisted it. So, he wrote in a complete lucid manner and in a absolutely blunt way with almost no literary qualities. Usually we think, he did not know the art, but actually he was a master in it. Otherwise he would not have thought upto this level. He is symbolically depicted in the famous half-man, half-snake form indicating that he has risen above the duality of life and attained to ultimate oneness, and in doing so, has opened the door for others to achieve the same. Half of his body has been symbolically made into snake, because he is not seen as a person anymore.


In Yogic system and Jains, sex is not viewed as bad or sin, Brahamacharya is in fact practiced to preserve your sexual energies. The semen is said to be present in subtle form all over the body and it is very instrumental for the spiritual realization. That's why Brahmacharya is held as a supreme virtue. Lord Shiva also actively advocates Brahmacharya. Now, Shiva is a very interesting God. He is always shown meditating. Numerous stories about him is written, his accounts of long stay in Samadhi. Now here lies a question, he is a Supreme God, Vishnu, Brahma and all other myths worship him but he still meditates. He is the ultimate destroyer and still he is in constant focus state. Upon him does he meditate? This is a radical question, and the answer to it I say will bring revolution in Hinduism. Shiva being a Supreme Lord, all other worship him but still he meditates. For what?